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ASK CUPID..

ASK CUPID.. ASK CUPID..
Hi Cupid


Don't believe I am actually asking you this, as a guy in his 40's it's not the 'done thing' to be open about such things.

I have been single for a few years now after my marriage ended and not sure what women actually want nowadays.

How can I be what they want me to be as I really miss sharing times with someone special. I thought chatting online would ease me in gently and help build my confidence again.

What would you suggest I do to attract the ladies?

Peter (name changed)

Hi there Peter

You have asked a question it would take hours and many A4 pages to answer.

There is no simple answer I am afraid as everyone (male & female) have different needs at different times in their lives. Women are indeed complex characters which is probably why you are so confused. I understand that men see relationships / love in a more simplistic way. Yes women think too much at times .. we analyse! It's a self protection thing!

When it comes down to it we all have insecurities and the fear of being hurt, that is normal !! The hassles come when someone has more insecurities / baggage than yourself: needy / clingy patrners tend to scare us off. I think everyone wants to have a partner that enhances your life NOT feeds on it like a dependancy.

The best advice I can give you is to always be yourself. Stay true to yourself.. yes that means being strong & open enough to voice your opinions & feelings. If you have brick walls and lack those skills - learn them! It's not being 'all emotional' or 'not macho' - it's opening a door to a deeper / closer relationship.

Find your strength as a person alone first, that confidence in yourself is a HUGE attraction to others. Using ONLINE is a good way to help you build that & take things at a pace comfortable to you it also builds up the friendship / trust side first which is the foundation neccessary for any type of relationship.

Do not settle for someone that is not right for you because that will just make you UNhappy in the longterm.

Good luck

CoffeedateCUPID x