ASK CUPID

ASK CUPID I have been divorced now for over ten yrs, but I still find it very daunting to open up to the opposite sex.  It`s very true when they say that after a break up you lose a lot of your self confidence and a little piece of yourself. How long does it take before that feeling of comfort starts to take hold again? 21/7/07 .. Male .. 50 Hi there .. Thanks for your question. I think after any long term relationship your identity is entwined with the other person, when that relationship ends you almost have to 're-invent' yourself.  Building up your confidence again is an ongoing process, no one entering a new relationship is 100% confident - everyone has doubts and niggling insecurities .. that's what makes us human.  I have been dating for 5 yrs since becoming a Widow 6yrs ago .. the buzz of dating is meant to have that edge .. it's the excitement mixed with the nerves that produces that 'teenager' / 'butterfly' feeling that we all want but when we get it, throws us into confusion Heehee Taking time to get to know another person on a friendship level first will help with your confidence on other areas .. working on the trust element will allow you to 'open up' as a natural process. I could predict it will not be 'plain sailing' but every situation is one to learn from / experience to build on. I had a look at your profile and your pictures, they make you appear  friendly, articulate and approachable .. your half way there already!  I sense  you have a good sense of humour .. that will help!  There is no secret .. what many of us do when in a 'lost' situation .. we bluff it!! Someone once said that 'it's not the breathes that we take that define our lives .. it's the moments that took our breath away' - make the best of it .. grab happiness when you can!! I hope that helps .. good luck   x